Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you, He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
Warning: I am overwhelmed by life.
To summarize: I am really baring my heart and soul in this blog post because life is overwhelming right now!
All my imperfections, doubts, and fears are pouring out from the heart, straight into this article.
First of all, forgive me now for being so emotional and raw.
But it’s real and honest which is what I want to do.
I hope it helps you in some way, in the struggles you are dealing with.
Secondly, I want to ask a question beloved, and I Pray that I am NOT the ONLY one willing to admit this!
Do you have circumstances that you are facing in your life right now where you are so overwhelmed by life that it makes you weary?
I’m talking about deep down in your soul, weary.
It happens to me and if you’re honest it happens to you too.
It happens more often than we are willing to admit because of pride.
As hard as I try to stay positive I’ve been feeling crushed lately by the weight of my health issues!
I feel as if I am disappointing God and letting him down and that’s the most troublesome thing for me in this whole thing.
I don’t like that feeling!
Overwhelmed By Life: Preparing for the worst
See Friends, I had a biopsy scheduled a few weeks ago and I was prepared physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Then the doctor walks in and introduces himself proceeds to say I’m afraid I have bad news for you.
Your biopsy can NOT be done today. He said I can’t treat it at all and I believe it’s a carcinoma of some kind!
I thought I was finally gonna get some answers and left the Dr’s office in tears and defeat!
Needless to say, I WAS SHATTERED!
After feeling sorry for myself for a short while I dusted myself off put my big girl panties on and said Ok Lord your will not mine be done!
It is in your hands.
The issue with my foot has been ongoing for 18 months now.
18 months of painful treatments, just so you understand my discouragement!
I got a call from the next referral and went to that appointment ready to get this ended and be done with it. I’ve talked about patience in waiting before, but man it is hard!
I am happy to report my biopsy did get done this past Monday.
This Dr also stated he thought it was cancer
Squamous Cell Carcinoma if fact.
He told me after that many months of treatment I should have seen some kind of improvement!
Y’all, there wasn’t any.
In fact, this place has grown larger, and harder as time has gone by.
I was like, THANK YOU JESUS! Finally gonna get the ball rolling, so to speak.
Overwhelmed by Life: Not the Answer We Thought
I work at an Oncology office and I know what the dreaded C word means and what it does to your body.
I definitely did NOT want it to be that at all, but I thought to myself Angie, God’s Got This and he will see you through regardless of the outcome.
Next day I get a phone call Wonderful News it was NOT Cancer like they thought.
I was extremely grateful and thankful.
You’re probably asking yourself right about now…Then what is your problem, Angie!!
You know what, I am asking myself that very question.
Is it possible to be both grateful and disappointed at the same time?
See, now I am back at square one.
I was led to believe, that regardless of the biopsy results, they were cutting it out.
Or so I thought!
The results verified it was not Cancer-related as they thought. However, they are afraid to cut it out now.
These are the reasons I was given:
- Excessive scar tissue
- High risk for infection
- No way to repair the damage
- Can grow back
- Too risky due to my Autoimmune System
My Autoimmune Disorders do NOT allow my body, to heal like a normal person.
It’s not cancer…now what?
It’s NOT Cancer, and I am thankful for that, but leaving it in is not what I wanted to hear at all.
Does that sound as ungrateful to you as it does to me?
Can you imagine how my world fell apart?
It was like the weight of it all crushed in on me.
Now, they tell me that aren’t many options left
I was like What?
You can’t leave it there to continue to grow PLEASE do something!
You try walking with a rock attached to the bottom of your foot! See how you like it!
Rest easy beloved I didn’t speak those words to the Dr but I said them just the same in my heart!
For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
I am so ashamed of my thoughts and attitude. God is my refuge and strength, but sometimes, this is HARD.
God Forgive Me for when I get overwhelmed by life!
I only have the following three options left to try:
- Paring the lesion down and treating it with further liquid nitrogen.
- Using a clinical trial compound called WartPeel.
- More Injections but instead of Bleomycin Chemotherapy, they’re wanting to use the MMR Vaccine.
Needless to Say, I stewed on their words!
I let them fester.
Can you guess what happened, next Friends?
Satan, the liar, and deceiver he is started attacking my mind, with all kinds of negativity:
A leper no one wants to touch!
Too much trouble and should just give up!
God could Heal you! Why do you think he isn’t?
My boss asked me not long after this if I had heard about my results yet.
I was like YES AND WHAT A JOKE and proceeded to tell her all that transpired.
Being completely honest Friends, as bad as I hate to even admit this to you but I did NOT handle the situation in a Christian like attitude at all.
I embarrassed myself but most of all I didn’t represent God very well at all!
They understood my frustration, but that isn’t the point.
I let myself down, and even worse is disappointing God by letting Satan get in my head.
I started shouting these words!
Joy in ALL circumstances!
Satan Loves whispering lies in our ears and keep us feeling defeated!
I am putting this down for me too.
I may need to go back and read Even If: Trusting God In Difficult Times when I start to feel sorry for myself.
Scriptures of reference in God’s Word to remind us when we’re feeling overwhelmed by life
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
The steps of a man are established by the LORD when he delights in his way.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, Then You knew my path. In the way in which I walk They have secretly set a snare for me.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; shall run and not be weary; shall walk and not faint.
There is none Holy like the LORD: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. For there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
When we’re feeling Overwhelmed by Life and we are at our weakest point God will ALWAYS be the rock we can run to.
The best part is this friend.
No matter how much we mess up, and I do on a daily basis, he will ALWAYS Love us, regardless of our Imperfections.
Isn’t that Amazing to know, that he Loves us, even in the middle of our mess!