Mad At God A Heartbreaking Story On The Loss Of A Child

Have you ever been mad at God? Have you gone through the loss of a child? How do you get over the loss of an infant? What if you’ve been given the gift of a grandchild only to have the baby snatched away as quickly as you were blessed with him?

This will leave you with heartbroken and more questions than answers, right? Such as…

1. Why God?
2. Why was our child taken so soon?
3. Why did we lose our child when many choose abortion?
4. What have we done so wrong to deserve this?

Advice: Angry At God is not a good place to find yourself in

MAKE SURE TO PIN FOR LATER

Allow me to share with you a time when my world completely shattered. I was angry at God for far too long over losing Tyler. It was a time in my life when I rebelled against God, and my heart was full of nothing but anger and bitterness.

What Can You Do When You’re Mad at God?

See this beautiful boy? You can’t help but fall in love with his smile, right? His name is Tyler, and he is our first grandchild. As you can see, he’s laughing, happy, and healthy.

Tyler is 4 1/2 months old in this photo. I will never forget it because it’s one of my favorite memories. I was leaning over him and jostling the bed a little, and he thought that was the funniest thing ever. Can’t you tell by his wide-open grin?

God is Always Faithful, Even if We are Not

My family lives in Kentucky, and I live in North Carolina. It’s about a five-hour drive, so it’s not so bad. We visited our first little bundle of Joy a third time, and I can’t describe how this trip differed from the other two. Looking back on it now, I believe God was showing me love and mercy even then and was preparing me for what was to come.

As my husband and I were about to leave to head back home to NC, I wanted to get one last snuggle, so I picked Tyler up from his stroller in the above photo.

Y’all, I had the most sorrowful emotion blast me. I can’t explain it any better than that. I hugged Tyler so hard and peppered him with kisses even as tears ran down my cheeks. My behavior caused all of my family to start crying also, but I couldn’t help it.

God Understands Our Sorrow

Finally, my daughter says to me, “My goodness, Mom, what is wrong with you?” It’s not like you’re never going to see him again. I didn’t want to let him go, but I did so rather reluctantly.

We hugged my daughter and her husband goodbye and walked away. As Mike and I were leaving, I told him, “Something is wrong!”

I want to leave this next part out of my story, but when you get that nudge from the Holy Spirit, you must heed the warning. Please keep in mind that I wasn’t living for God at this point in my life. I was angry at God and held Him responsible for numerous things wrong in my life.

I had turned my back on God long before this incident. Too many situations and circumstances got in the way, and I am ashamed to admit that. Yet I believe with all my heart that God was warning me. Being angry with God is not a good place to be.

The Help You Need To Fight Depression

AT THE TIME, I DIDN’T “GET IT.” I WAS TOO MAD AT GOD TO CONNECT WITH HIM ABOUT THIS

Our drive back to North Carolina was somber. We didn’t talk much because we felt we didn’t understand. As you read this, I’m certain you know what I am about to tell you beforehand. When my daughter told me, “It’s not like you’re not going to see him again,” I didn’t.

God Has A Purpose

This visit was the last time we saw Tyler. It was four days later, we got the call that my Grandson Tyler passed away from SIDS. Sweet friend, I was so mad at God for taking Tyler from us! I put all the blame on him. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with you ever again. Talking about being angry with God, right?

It wasn’t right or fair from my viewpoint. I even went as far as to say that he took him from us as punishment for me turning my back on him. Can you believe that? But being angry with God made it easier to deal with at the time.

To this day, I’m extremely embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior, not just in this instance but in many others. When we blame God for pain and suffering, being angry with God is not a good place to be.

God’s ways are not our ways

Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. God’s ways are not our ways, which are better than ours. My point in sharing this is that instead of looking to God as my source of strength to see me through this, I pushed him away even further than I already had.

I didn’t want God’s name brought up around me for the longest time because I was full of bitterness and mad at God for taking Tyler from us. Being angry with God allowed me, someone, to point fingers at them. If you find yourself in this situation, lean into God, not away from him.

Anger leads to bitterness

Instead of thanking God for giving me what time with Tyler he did, I was too furious with him for not giving me more time with him. I know we aren’t supposed to question God, but I can tell you now that I did that, and then there were some.

Now I see how wrong I was, but I was in so much pain I took the easier road, or at least what I thought it was. I want you to know if you find yourself in a similar situation, allow yourself to grieve, but don’t let it make you become bitter the way I did.

Bible Verses About Loss Of A Child

To grant to those who mourn in Zion to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. Isaiah 61:13

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ, we share abundantly in comfort too. 2 Corinthians 1:5

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

Quotes About Loss

“Loss is only temporary when you believe in God!”

-Latoya Alston

“Any woman who’d ever lost a child knew of the hollowness that remained within the soul.”

― Brittainy C. Cherry

“We do not “get over” a death. We learn to carry grief and integrate the loss in our lives. In our hearts, we carry those who have died. We grieve and we love. We remember.”

― Nathalie Himmelrich

“Like a deep sad note played beneath the ocean waving through the orb the memories of you the bittersweet echoes infixed forever in my heart”

― Pawan Mishra

“There is no right way to grieve; there is only your way to grieve and that is different for everyone.”

― Nathalie Himmelrich

Lean On Jesus for strength in the loss

If you find yourself in a situation like this, turn to your Heavenly Father, your true refuge and strength through pain, grief, and suffering. You will get past it. I’m not going to lie and tell you it isn’t going to still hurt because it will. However, if you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, you can be assured that you’ll be reunited again in Heaven.

The way I acted when I was angry with God, I’m surprised he didn’t just say, “You know what, Angie, I’m done chasing you!” I’m so thankful God didn’t stop chasing me! He kept pursuing me! Aren’t you thankful for God’s grace even when you don’t deserve it?

I came across another post from a devotional I follow, Girlfriends in God. If you have not checked their website, it is filled with many gospel-centered, faith-filled writings from God-fearing women.

The Help You Need To Fight Depression

The depression, pain, grief, and sadness we feel over the loss of Tyler are still there to this day. However, the Lord is our hope and our salvation, and our comfort is found in him.

God was there for me, but I chose to rebuke him. Don’t make my mistake; this is the point of this post and my desire to honor my little baby boy. For now, I know God is taking care of him and has him wrapped in his tender, loving, and caring arms.

In Loving Memory Of Tyler Quentin Huddleston, You will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!

If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, watch the sermon below by Greg Laurie.

Be sure to read:

• Does Grief Ever Go Away
• She Still Lives: Bible Verses About Heaven After Death
• When You Think You’ve Been Buried: Bloom Quotes Bring You to Life

Your Turn

Have you endured the loss of a child? God wants to encourage you and relieve your suffering if you will go to him in all things. His word is powerful enough to bring healing and solace even during your darkest hours. God is there for you and is at work through the tragedies of your lives to bring glory and honor to his name.

Hey Friend, Thanks For Reading!

Like this post? Use the icons below to share it!