- 1 Why do we compare ourselves to others?
- 2 How can we stop being insecure?
Jesus Is more than enough and our identity is found in Him! As Christian women, we know this, so why do we compare ourselves to others?
If you are someone who self-doubts your self-worth please know this, you are enough because Jesus is more than enough!
As was previously stated, Jesus is more than enough, so why is this so difficult for us to believe this? Do you ever feel like no matter what you say or do you will never be good enough or ever measure up to the way others view you?
It can be so easy for us to compare ourselves to not only Christian women but women in general right? Why do we compare ourselves to others? We play the comparison game to see where and how we measure up.
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Why do we compare ourselves to others?
It can be so easy to compare ourselves to other women, isn’t it? We play the “if only” game. “If only” I dressed this way, then I would fit in. “If only” I acted and talked a certain way, then others would want to be my friend. “If only” I would do ____, then I can compete with _____?
The “How” and “why” we compare ourselves to others?
I don’t know about you but I believe we forget what the bible says about our identity in Christ. Again, we are more than enough because Jesus is more than enough and our identity is 100% secured in Christ Jesus.
I know where my insecurity comes from. It stems from years of hearing negative things about myself over and over again from being in an almost fifteen-year abusive marriage.
I can give you some specific examples of how my spouse compared me. Angie, you need to____?
- Dress another way
- Show some skin
- Lose weight
- Do something with your hair
- Wear more makeup
- Care more about what I want from you
Examples of…why would I want ____?
- A woman no other man will ever look at?
- Debbie downer and such a goody-goody?
- A woman who doesn’t want to have fun?
I don’t know about you but after hearing these things repeatedly for years you will start believing them about yourself? Is it any wonder we as women compare ourselves to others?
Not only this, but you will also want to separate yourself from anything or anyone! All you want at that point is to find someone who will listen and understand but you’re afraid of the fear and rejection!
Satan just roams around looking for a weak spot within us, to pounce and take full advantage of our doubts.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 1 Peter 5:8-9
Satan is powerful so please do not let anyone tell you that he isn’t. That being said, however, Satan is also predictable and preys on our vulnerabilities.
So, why do we compare ourselves to others? The simple answer is we get caught up in lies of the devil being forced in our minds such as the following:
- You Are not Good enough
- You are not loved
- You are a reject
- You are shameful
- You are nothing but trouble
- You are better off alone
- You are seen as weak
- You are ugly
- You are not forgiven
- You do not deserve grace
- You are not worthy
We are Insecure in our own skin: Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
All during my school years I never wanted to stand out. I was super shy and didn’t say much to be honest. When I go home even to this day, to Kentucky to visit my family, if I run into someone I knew years ago, I get told…You were the girl who never spoke, aren’t you? Yep, that was me. Lol
All joking aside I’d rather be remembered for being quiet than some much worse thing wouldn’t you? Even today I’m still that quiet in the shell girl!
Unless the subject of ANYTHING pertaining to faith in God then look out cause this Southern Bell from North Carolina can get “FIRED UP!”
Sadly, in today’s world, we’re so consumed, wanting the approval of other people, to define our self-worth.
How can we stop being insecure?
Know your value as a Child of the King
Friends, God is more concerned about our soul! We aren’t made to fit in because as born-again followers of Jesus Christ we are to be set apart.
Change your thought pattern
My friend, Sunshyne, is a Licensed Christian Therapist and Certified Biblical Counselor. She teaches people new patterns of living and relating that line up with God’s Word and His purpose for your life.
She has developed an online course, called “Taking Every Thought Captive.” She has 15 years of experience doing Cognitive Therapy and applying Biblical Counsel to real life. She struggled with insecurity as well. I have personally taken her course and it’s life-changing.
For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world. 1 John 2:16
But God does understand. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
What should we do when we compare ourselves to others?
- Dig deep and explore where our impulse comes from when we compare ourselves to others.
- Turn off social media. Believe it or not more often than not we see only what people want us to see.
- Remember where and who your identity is found in…Jesus…and it’s worth repeating…Jesus is more than enough…SO ARE YOU!
- Focus on what you may have in common instead of the differences and sizing one another up. This will only lead to more jealousy.
- Spend time around people who build you up and less on the ones who tear you down. This is where I suggest joining a Lifegroup or small group. In this, you hold one another accountable.
- Make it a practice to be grateful and thankful for what you do have and consider yourself blessed with what God has given you. Envy is the root of all evil.
- Find ways to channel the ways we compare ourselves to others into something productive. You may surprise yourself.
What Does the Bible Say about Comparing ourselves to others?
Remember when reading the following verses keep in the forefront of your mind that if Jesus is more than enough…So Are You…if you are in Christ Jesus.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. Jude 1:19
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Do You see how Jesus is more than enough? This is why we should not compare ourselves to others
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. 2 Corinthians 10:12
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. James 3:16
But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s. Exodus 20:17
And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. Galatians 6:3-5
In closing on If Jesus Is More Than Enough Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
When we consider the question of why do we compare ourselves to others the only thing that will from it is it will place roadblocks in front of us.
When we compare ourselves to other Christian women or (women in general) it will stop us from fulfilling our God-given calling.
This will be seeking acceptance through those around us instead of pleasing God. Sweet friends, remember Jesus is more than enough and so are You and I.