O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before And laid Your hand upon me. Psalm 139:1-5
God Alone Knows and sees ALL and that means EVERY circumstance whether great or small God knows them ALL before they happen the start and also the end.
God also knows our hearts in the decisions we make and the motives behind ALL things we say and do and nothing catches him off guard nor does it surprise him? Period!
I have often said this:
A faith that isn’t tested is a faith that can not be trusted and for every choice, we make there is a consequence that we alone have to live with.
God Alone Knows the struggles you and I are facing today and he cares what we’re going through however, we also have an adversary, that knows them as well…Satan
My life hasn’t been easy and I’ve had my share of heartaches and pain and have made some very poor choices and I admit that I’ve waved my white flag and taken the easy road when life has gotten too hard for me numerous times to count.
I hate confessing that but it’s the truth!
Growing up my parents were divorced when I was very young and my Dad wasn’t around much at that time in my life.
I didn’t have a father figure to guide and direct me. t
That being said my Mama did a wonderful job raising us girls.
My Mama remarried eventually and my step Dad did the best he could but it was difficult and challenging at times.
An incident happened between he and I and instead of trying to work through it I took the easy road and left home for a while because I didn’t know how to deal with this issue so I fled as fast as I could.
It was easier!
My Daddy was living in North Carolina and he has numerous health problems and I moved to NC myself in 1999. Our Daddy/Daughter bond blossomed into the kind of relationship I always dreamed of having.
We had grown very close so when he passed away in 2008 I was devastated and I still miss him so very much but I’m thankful he’s no longer suffering.
He’s now in Heaven and I can’t think of anywhere else that I’d rather he be and I’m quite envious actually.
When we’re young we think we know it ALL, don’t we?
Referred To as:
Young dumb and stupid.
NOT the best choice of words to use but it’s more of a figure of speech.
The Holy Spirit convicted me and I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at eighteen.
I was on fire for God and led the choir at Church.
I replied, “God, you are so good and nothing or no one will EVER come between us!”
Upon meeting my first husband at Church I thought he my partner for life.
He ran the sound system while I sang on stage at Church and I was giving God thanks for putting him in my life.
My bubble got busted real quick.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment yet I was painted one picture and became something totally different.
My Mama told me she did NOT want me to get married because she knew the kind of life I would have.
Did I listen to Mama’s advice? NO!
Angie went her own way and I ended up spending fifteen years in an abusive marriage that broke me.
In numerous ways, it still affects me to this day.
Needless to Say, this caused a huge divide between my Mama and me for years for several reasons.
The more “I” tried to mend the relationship the worse it became and he didn’t want me seeing my Mama nor did he want me taking my children there.
Can you guess what happened?
I walked away from the God I loved and served because living for God was becoming too hard due to the circumstances that were “my life”
I did NOT want to live it all and I know that’s Sad but it’s also true, I took a whole bottle of pills to end it for myself but Thank God for his loving mercy towards me! He saved me from me!
I would feel God calling me back to himself and I would go back….Until it got too hard…Again, again, and again!
My husband Mike and I got married in 2003.
We both felt something missing from our lives and marriage yet we never made a commitment to any one Church.
Unfortunately, we didn’t find one we were both comfortable with.
Me most of all missed the connection to God.
In 2005 we had our first grandchild Tyler and Mike and I both was left in awe of the love we have for him.
You see where this is going…AGAIN!
If you’ve read my dedication page to Tyler you already know we lost Tyler to SIDS at 4 1/2 months old.
I was angry at God for so long and I was thinking to WHY do I keep putting myself out there just to be slammed…Again, again and again! ENOUGH!
Friends, when you are a son and daughter, of the most high God he does NOT stop chasing you and I am so Thankful for that!
I can now tell you that Mike and I both are living our lives for Jesus Christ since 2013 with no backing down and we host our Lifegroup for about two years now.
Since January or so we have been leading and God has been good to us and he is faithful.
You’re probably wanting to ask this question:
Angie, it seems like you have your priorities where they should be where are you going with this?
I thought nothing would EVER be harder than losing Tyler but I was wrong!
I’m sharing what’s on my heart with you without giving details due to personal privacy. I don’t do that.
I share MY struggles with YOU so that it may help YOU.
Do NOT walk away from God! No matter how hard the situation may look at the moment.
Stand Firm, Hold Fast and Don’t take the cowardly way out as I did for far too many years.
You will live with the regret and the remorse!
Trust me You don’t want to live with that!
I will stand before God one day and give account for doing that.
Time and Time again I’d find myself walking away from God because my circumstances were too hard to bare.
I wasn’t in a strong enough place with my Heavenly Father to say:
I CHOOSE YOU, GOD, No matter what comes my way, I WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM YOU AGAIN!!
Satan is attacking harder than ever friends.
If it’s not one thing it’s two, three, four…..etc
The Devil is attacking my mind and whispering these words in my ears, over and over again.
IF GOD LOVED YOU HE”D MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY, IT”S ONLY GOING TO GET HARDER, TAKE THE EASY ROAD, FLEE! FLEE! FLEE and SURRENDER!
The war you’re throwing my way will NOT make me walk away from MY God.
I am stronger in my faith right now at this very moment that I have EVER been!
Do I like it? Absolutely NOT!
Is it painful? Absolutely YES!
Do I want a peaceful resolution? Absolutely YES!
We must lean on God and allow him to carry our burdens.
We can’t do it in our strength…We need HIS!
Make the choice to NOT give in to the easy way out.
It may seem easier at the time but take it from me…It’s NOT!
GOD ONLY KNOWS what we ALL face and he IS there to comfort YOU and Me!
My name is Angie and I’m all “about” sharing the unconditional Love, Hope, Restoration, and Salvation, that is found in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I write about where my life was before accepting Christ Jesus as my Savior and my journey now as I walk with Him daily. Thank You so much for taking time out of your day to spend a few moments in mine. If you found this post encouraging can I ask you to Please share it with someone else who may need to read it as well? You can share via the buttons below.