But without Faith it is Impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists, and that he rewards those who seek him. (Hebrews 11:6).
Faith, its only a five letter word, yet it’s so powerful! Why do we find it so hard, to put our complete Trust and Faith in God? Let’s be completely honest, because if we aren’t, we’re setting ourself up for failure.
We can say we trust God in all areas of our life, when everything is going right, but do we say the same, when our world is being spun out of control, or when all you see is sickness, with no light at the end of the tunnel?
I can’t answer Yes to my own question
It wouldn’t be the truth. I have such a lack in trusting God is, who he says he is sometimes. Oh how it pains my heart to say that.
Satan loves when we leave an open door of doubt, because he will come slithering in, like the snake he is. He will distract our minds, and have us questioning, all kinds of things, that we know aren’t true.
Friends, why do we do this to our self, time and time again?
Answer is, we are human, we are flawed, and we will stay flawed, this side of Eternity.
Living Life with Autoimmune Disorders and Trusting God
Back in 2008 I was feeling exhausted ALL the time. My heart rate was through the roof, and it felt like I had a butterfly fighting its way out of my chest. When I finally had enough of feeling that way, I went to see my Family Dr. They did blood work and it showed my thyroid levels were CRAZY.
Needless to Say, they got me an Appointment to see an Endocrinologist. After doing tests he determined I have Graves Disease, which is an Autoimmune Disorder of the Thyroid.
He immediately tells my husband and I, If I want to live, I must do EVERYTHING he tells me to do, exactly as he says, no more no less, if I want to live and not die.
Point blank, no beating around the bush
My husband and I were like What? He said no exercising of any kind, leisurely walking only. I ended up putting on 20 pounds, and hating myself for it. I had to have my thyroid killed by radiation and 13 days of isolation from everyone.
I thought I was gonna glow in the dark, for real. I believe they have finally got me regulated with that disease. Now I will move on to the next one.
Yep, there is more
In 2010 I had a spot come up behind my left ear. Talking about sore when I went to lay my head on the pillow. When I woke up the next morning, I could barely raise my head.
I made Dumbo the elephant’s ear look small. The whole left side of my face, neck, and ear was so red, swollen, and hot to the touch. I went to my PCP and she was like, girl you’re going straight to the ENT’s office.
When I arrived I felt like a freak on parade. The Dr said he’s never seen anything like this in his life. He said do you mind if my colleague looks at this. I said no. Seven Dr’s came strolling through my door, all looking at me.
Talking about feeling like a bug under a microscope.
Anyway, long story short is I had a massive fluid back up, which took a majority of my hearing in that ear. Later on, I started getting bad vertigo spells, dizzy spells, ringing and roaring in my ear that NEVER goes away, and extremely bad balance issues.
I will put it to you this way, I look like a walking drunk most days, and I don’t drink alcohol
Since then they’ve diagnosed me with Menieres Disease, which is an Autoimmune Disorder of the inner ear. I’ve received countless injections in my eardrum to help alleviate the symptoms.
I have lost just about all my hearing in my left ear, and I have thirty percent gone from my right. Did I mention I love singing and music, and use to lead choir back home?
That’s gone now cause I can’t hear through the microphone system. I enjoy Amusement Parks but can’t do that now due to excessive dizziness and sickness?
Now I will move on to the next one. Yep, there is more
I’ve been having issues with headaches for about a year now. Neurologists have given seizure medicines to help. They have diagnosed me with Vestibular Migraine Disease. The symptoms are similar to Menieres but vary somewhat.
We won’t even get into my Allergy issues. Suffice it to say I get teased that I should live in a bubble.
I’ve got places on my hands and feet they’ve been treating for a year. They’ve tried freezing, scraping, burn cream, acid, and straight chemotherapy injections.
Let me tell you, the bottom of your foot is so NOT a fun place to have a ton of needles put in, just saying
Can you guess how that’s going? Yep, not so good.
I was seeing a Chiropractor for over a year due to neck issues. I had an MRI recently that showed I have bulging discs, bone spurs, and pinched nerves. They’ve been giving injections in my neck and Yes that hurts.
I suppose you can see that my enjoyment of things are rather lacking due to these issues.
I want you to know, that I haven’t listed the issues I have, for your sympathy or attention in any way. I’m stating this is my life, and its something, I have to deal with, the best I can.
We all have circumstances, situations, sickness, whatever the case may be, that may get the best of us sometimes. We’re gonna have those “woes me” moments. I had one myself about a week ago.
I had two appointments back to back, with not good news from either one. By the time I left the second one, I was so discouraged, I was trying to drive home, as the tears were clouding my vision.
You see Friends, what happened, is I forgot for a few short minutes, who my comforter is. I forgot to look to the one, I could cry out to for help. All I seen were the circumstances surrounding me, with no change in sight.
But you know what the point is
We can’t stay in that place. It will take us down a long dark road of depression if we let it. Instead we must turn our eyes on Jesus, and lay our cares at the foot of the cross.
We aren’t meant to carry our burdens alone, though that’s exactly what we try to do. We think God is too busy for us or he’s got more important issues to deal with. But Friends. he cares about YOU and Me too.
I have come to a point, in living with these Autoimmune Disorders, that if it’s God’s will, for my health issues, to remain the way they are now, then so be it.
I really struggle with my hearing, and it can be extremely frustrating, to me and my family, who have to constantly repeat themselves, but it could be so much worse.
I could NOT hear at all
Many days I am so dizzy and off-balance I can barely walk.
I could NOT be able to work, but I still CAN
I could NOT be able to enjoy my grandchildren.
But I DO
It’s all in how you view your circumstances.
I believe God is not changing MY situation, because he’s using it to changes OTHERS, as well as myself. As Christians, people watch what we are dealt with in life, to see how we handle them.
I am by no means saying I handle them perfectly, because I do NOT. But God CAN and WILL use US for HIS Glory.
I Love a song by MercyMe, it’s called “Even If.” As I was driving home the day I had my woes me moment, that song came on, and reminded me of exactly what I needed.
It says, I know your able, and I know you can, save through the fire, with your mighty hand, but Even If you don’t, my hope is you alone.
You see Friends, we must come to the realization that our hope is in Jesus Christ. “Even If” my circumstances doesn’t change…….God has changed “ME” in the midst of them.
Your Sister In Christ
Hey Friends. Thank you for taking time out of your day, to spend a few moments in mine. As a follower of Jesus Christ, it’s important to me to share the gospel with you. I write about my ups and downs, my struggles and insecurities, but above all else, I share how God brings me through it all. Let’s continue our walk with Christ together.