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Healing after Abuse

13 Ways to Face Your Fears Head On

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Do you struggle with the ways to face your fears head on? I’m certain you’ve heard the phrase…If you don’t face your fears, they will end up controlling you.


I have found this to be true in my own life because fear has completely controlled me more often than I care to admit. With this in mind, fear is an ever-present reminder of past abuse that I would much rather forget altogether.


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Even now as a Christian, I still struggle with overcoming fear at times. Am I the only one who has this issue? How do we face them? How do we break the hold it has on us?


Fear is an inevitable part of life. That being said, God has made it very clear to me the only way to get past this is…You must face your fears head-on.


In all honesty, those of us who suffer from a lifetime of fear (abuse in my case) often face many obstacles in fulfilling God’s will and purpose for our lives. It can be difficult to move forward when thoughts of doing so paralyze you.


That being the case, when you choose to live your life for Jesus Christ, Satan will always use the largest ammunition at his disposal for every believer who chooses to face their fears head-on when stepping out in faith and trusting God’s plan and purpose.


Satan will always use the largest ammunition at his disposal for every believer who chooses to face their fears head-on when stepping out in faith and trusting God’s plan and purpose. Click To Tweet

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How Do You Face Your Fears Head on?


This particular post was supposed to be my first contributor post for Kingdom Bloggers. That being said, it didn’t happen because I know in my heart God didn’t intend it to be that way. When I sent this post for submission in the back of my mind I knew I wasn’t obeying God.


I convinced myself “more people” will benefit from it because Kingdom Bloggers has a much larger reach than I do. So I sent it anyway.


To make a long story short it’s published where it’s meant to be. God’s plans for us will happen in the way they’re meant to take place no matter how much “we” get in the way!


Give Your Fears to God


Rush forward toward fear with faith in Jesus Christ and have your confidence firmly rooted in Him, His Word, and the truth of the gospel, not Satan’s schemes and lies!


Sweet Friends, you and I can not face our fears in our own strength, we must call upon the power of the living God which is the Holy Spirit within us to overcome fear!


Now I realize that facing our fears is never an easy thing to do! Even while I am writing this post I have a battle waging war in my heart and soul.


I also know without a shadow of a doubt that this is God’s will so I must obey him no matter how hard it is, even if I may be considered less than and judged by those who will never understand unless they have walked in my shoes and down the same path.


Face your Fears

Back in February, I wrote a post titled God is Worthy of our Whole Heart of Worship. I want to share a few key points of that post but I would love for you to read the full story by clicking the link.


Needless to say, my toes were stepped on in two particular ways big time by both our Worship Pastor and the Pastor doing the sermon for this particular Sunday.


Remove Fear of Man


Our Worship Pastor told the Story of Matt Redman’s song “Heart of Worship.” While I listened to him sharing about this story I was feeling heavy conviction from the Holy Spirit on songs I had written.


I did videos for each song as well, just me, my computer, no music, just like Matt Redman’s Story, but hadn’t shared them on my RHL Page.


The pastor asked the congregation this question…”When you come through the doors on Sunday what are you bringing as your offering to God?”


“Are you giving God your whole heart of Worship?” Out of the depths of my own FEAR…


No, I was not!


There is a phrase I say this often…I LOVE God’s Sense of Humor & Timing.


I previously uploaded all the songs to my page prior to the weekend of this sermon and was considering removing them due to fear and caring about what others may think of them.


It can be hard to tell how I sound due to my hearing loss but others were sharing how much they helped them spiritually. Satan isn’t a happy camper in the least when you’re changing lives for the sake of the gospel and facing your fears head-on.


Satan isn’t a happy camper in the least when you’re changing lives for the sake of the gospel and facing your fears head-on. Click To Tweet

Ignore Satan’s Lies


  • You’re gonna look stupid!
  • People are gonna make fun of you!
  • You need to remove the videos!

In short, I didn’t allow my fear to have the final say on this one. However, I can not say the same for my biggest fear of all.


Heed the Conviction


God was NOT finished convicting me on this particular Sunday. When Pastor Jon started his sermon I was thinking to myself “Really Lord!” Now?


Don’t you think my toes were stepped on badly enough God? Can’t you cut me some slack? When God wants to move in your life…He doesn’t let up.


If you read Psalm 32:1-5 it’s about King David and what transpired with Bathsheba and how David was bearing the weight of his shame, guilt, and regret and the consequences of his actions. Below is the title from the sermon.


  • Our freedom
  • God’s Forgiveness
  • Conquering our Fears

Savor the Sweetness of Forgiveness As You Face Your Fears


The sermon had three key points: Psalm 32:1-5


  • Be captivated by the blessings of repentance and confession.
  • Don’t suffer in silence.
  • Acknowledge and confess your sins for forgiveness.

My pastor used the metaphor of NOT changing the oil in your car. If you do not change the oil in your car it will eventually get filled with the muck and gunk and make your engine go bad. All of us MUST take their trash out.


He went on to say that he believes that there is NO SIN heavier than guilt and shame. Is that ever a true statement right?


If you have not read my personal testimony I was in an almost fifteen-year abusive marriage which is where the biggest majority of my fear comes.


Let Go of Shame and Face Your Fears


After this particular sermon, I fought tooth and nail on what I knew God was calling me to, due to fear, shame, and guilt. The thing is I’m very upfront about the physical, emotional, and verbal abuse that has taken place in my life.


However, there is ONE area that I have not been able to openly share. Not to mention that this ONE thing has kept me a prisoner forever bound and shackled. See, I can understand how King David felt.


Why?


The ONE thing I have not been so upfront about is Sexual Abuse. See for ME I classify it in this way because this was something I did NOT want to take place at ALL! That being said if you were to hear my ex-husbands side of this time he would say I wanted this or I asked for it!


Sweet Friend this statement is a lie from Satan straight from the pit of Hell! God knows ALL and God sees ALL and he alone knows my heart and nothing anyone else may say or think will change this fact.


Make Better Choices


Also, when you are in an abusive situation you make choices that you would normally NEVER make out of FEAR. If I didn’t want to go along with his “sexual fantasies” for lack of a better word, I took the full brunt of his wrath for not doing so.


Choose faith over fear

I was so broken, lost, defeated, attempted suicide and was so far from Christ at this time in my life. I blamed God for numerous situations that took place.


It is so hard for me to grasp at times the concept that God didn’t say ENOUGH…I am so done with you. But God is a faithful loving God and does not operate that way.


Confess It to Break It


In short, God convicted me during the Pastor’s sermon that in order for me to be completely FREE from this I had to confess it to break the hold it has on me.


So I wrote an E-Book titled FINALLY FREE about the time in my first marriage that goes more in-depth on the abuse and how God used that timeframe to mold me into the woman I am today.


For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7


I made the ebook as an Optin on my website so others can benefit from “My Story” and even had myself convinced that I obeyed the conviction within my own heart by sharing it in this form.


However, I still couldn’t shake the fact that I was not obeying God. Friends, doing something partway instead of the way God intends for us is NOT trusting in God through faith when it comes to facing our fears head-on. He wants our full complete obedience.


Doing something partway instead of the way God intends for us is NOT trusting in God through faith when it comes to facing our fears head-on. Click To Tweet

Listen to Wise Counsel


Isn’t it just like God to lovingly use the people in our lives to speak truth to us and give us the nudge we need to do what we already know God is calling us to do anyway?


For this reason, I want to share a bit of a conversation I had with you. I was asking a question in a group I’m in about wanting to know how I can display my e-book better to get more subscribers to my blog?


My friend’s truthful reply…I know you currently have it set up as a way to gain subscribers (optin) but you might want to consider not requiring them to sign up for it.


If the main goal is to provide helpful information sometimes it is better to give it away for free so to speak – meaning don’t require them to subscribe. Because this way more people will be able to benefit from the information.


Refuse to Second Guess or Doubt


My response…LeeAnn, have you personally read my eBook? If you have you know what it’s about and what’s in it? It’s humiliating and extremely difficult to write about.


Especially the fear of being judged and ridiculed. Not to mention if my ex-husband finds out I wrote about this all kinds of worms will be opened. He will say it’s all lies. I don’t know the best way to go about this?



Don’t Give a Hypocritical Response


The response I gave was one filled with self-doubt and to be honest, is completely hypocritical on my part. It’s like saying you live a Christian lifestyle but the way you live your life does not reflect what you claim to be.


Not to mention my lack of disobedience in the way God intends for me to do. You know the old saying you can’t have one foot in the world and the other foot in the church. You can’t have it both ways.


No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. Matthew 6:24


Our Testimonies Our Someone Else’s Hope


Final comment from my friend and mentor…I would say that if you aren’t yet comfortable with sharing that part of your life with the world, then don’t.


If you do share it, then it would be mentioned in the posts you are openly writing about on your site.


The people finding these posts are struggling with similar situations. You must face your fears and help others.


The chances of your ex finding it (while it is possible) are extremely low. But this is something that you need to pray about and let God guide you on whether or not to put it out there.


At the end of the day, YOU have to be comfortable with this being out there – but always remember that our testimonies are someone else’s hope. It’s time to face your fears.


Finally free to face my fears

FINALLY FREE: A Story of Healing From Abuse

Thank You, LeeAnn, for giving me the nudge I desperately needed but more than that I appreciate your humble heart and guidance in speaking truth to my own stubborn heart.


For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Isaiah 41:13


God gives us his strength and power through the Holy Spirit, the unconditional love from His only perfect Begotten Son, and clarity from the Holy Word of God through Scriptures to overcome each and every fear that we face as children of Almighty God!


In Conclusion on 13 Ways to Face Your Fears Head On


So what do I do now? What I should have done a long long time ago. Stomp Satan and his fear tactics beneath my feet and step out in faith trusting God through obedience and do what I know for a fact he’s calling me to do. The spirit of fear does NOT come from God.


Finally, as a Blogger and most importantly a Christian, I am in a position where I have the opportunity to share my story with those who are needing to hear it most and change lives.


The way I see it, letting others know there is help for abused women and how they too can find healing is priceless. Don’t allow anxiety or fear of sharing your story to stop you from helping others.



How to face your fears is an issue that many people are asking Google about in the search box. Abuse in various forms is as well so I know this will benefit those searching for answers.


FACE YOUR FEARS

Healing and restoration come from stepping out of our safe zone and being bold in helping others who are facing similar issues. Be the one who chooses to face your fears head-on and just maybe YOU can be the one writing a story that can help someone get past their fears too.


You can find more bible verses about fear in our bible verses about page to help you let go and let God and His word speak truth to your soul.




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18 Comments

  1. I can SO relate to so much of your story of learning how to face your fears head on, out of obedience to God. You’re right when you say He does not let up when there is something He knows we need to deal with! Thank you for sharing, and for choosing obedience! I am praying right now that God will richly bless this offering you’ve made to Him! Love you my friend!

    1. Thank you so much, Cherith! I am so glad to know I’m not alone when it comes to this. Obedience to God trumps fear of man every time! I appreciate you, your support, your kind words of encouragement, and prayers too! Love you too sweet friend!

    1. Thank you so much, LeeAnn. I appreciate your encouraging words and I’m so happy to know you have found my post on facing your fears head-on helpful.

  2. Excellent post, my friend. So much wisdom here to help me face my fears head on. I also have allowed areas of my life to be ruled by fear. I know I will be back to read this again.

    1. Thank You so much, Heather. In all honesty, I believe everyone has been ruled by fear from time to time and Satan knows our weaknesses and will use them time and time again to get us off our God-given path to get God’s word out there. I am thrilled to hear this spoke to your heart and spirit as well and Pray it continues to help you. I appreciate your continued support of me very much and kind words of encouragement.

    1. Thank you so much, Haley. Yes, it’s very hard showing vulnerability but if my story helps someone else then it’s worth it. I appreciate you and your support!

  3. Thank you so much for being obedient to God in writing this. You are strong and courageous (Deuteronomy 31:6). You are helping SO many others heal. I’m one of few women who has not experienced abuse, but I know many women who have, and I will be sharing your posts and site with them as a resource they can use in their journey to healing. Your post has also given me a new perspective on facing my own fears head on. Thank you so much for being willing to be vulnerable to help others. You are following in Christ’s footsteps. Grace to you!

    1. Thank you so much, Melody. I will definitely appreciate you sharing my posts to those you know it will help heal in this area. It’s a long hard road and much forgiveness that can only take place in Christ’s strength’s not our own. Being vulnerable can be very difficult but it’s honoring and following Christ’s example to us. Thank you for your continued support

  4. Bless you, Angie for your courage and honesty! As a victim of sexual abuse in my childhood and emotional abuse in my first marriage, I was a mess. Shame and anger, and yes, that feeling of “less than” – I know that too well. Thank you for stepping out and encouraging us all to face our fears head on! You are a shining example!

    1. Thank you so much, AnnMarie. Trust me I completely understand. I am so sorry you suffered like that and I pray you have been able to move past it and find healing! If you’re like me it rears its ugly head from time to time. Satan knows our weaknesses and does his best to get our focus elsewhere other than do our God-Given call in sharing the gospel. I appreciate your continued support very much!

  5. Angie – you are correct – your story gives hope to others. I know it’s hard to be so vulnerable but there is no shame in what happened to you and now you can be totally free of from the burden someone else forced on you. You are blessed to be a blessing!

    1. Thank you so much, Fleda. I want to share there is hope for other women who are or have experienced this. Vulnerability is hard at times but I know that is when God shows up and does the work in our lives only he can do! I appreciate you and your continued support very much!

  6. These are such great tips for facing your fears, Angie! The bottom line is that I can overcome everything with the love, strength and faith of Christ. How on earth could we do it without Him? I’m so thankful that I’m a child of the King.

    1. Thanks so much, Wendy. I know for a fact I can do nothing in my own my strength because when “I” try to do in mine is where I mess up! I am so incredibly grateful to be a child of the King too!!

  7. So good Angie! Everything you said about fear, I have (and still am) battling. Fear is such a bully and until we face it head on, it keeps coming at us as if it was in charge! Learning to let God fight my battles is such a practice of surrendering my thoughts (and my inner ‘fight’) to Him, which takes alot of trust. Thank you for another awesome post sweet friend! This post on ways to face your fears head-on has really spoken to me this morning … ❤

    1. Thank you so much, Donna. Trust me I understand completely about fighting the battle and surrendering my thoughts to God. I refuse to allow Satan to hold me captive. So glad to hear it spoke it your spirit. As always I appreciate your continued support!

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